Fic: An Uneviable Choice Carson/Teyla, Teyla/Lorne FRT (1/?)

Spoilers: Post “Daedalus Variations”, AU future fic

Summary: Teyla begins to move on, Clone Carson returns, a choice must be made

Disclaimer: not mine, never will be, no infringement intended.

Distribution: my LJ, my site, anywhere else just ask

Author’s Notes: In the same universe as “Awkward” and “What Might Be”. I know this isn’t where season five is going, but where I wish it could go. Written with the encouragement and cheerleading of fiareynne.

“Torren must have a father.”

Teyla looked up to glare at Halling and his pronouncement. This was not why she had come to visit New Athos. She had come to rest, to rejuvenate, to find her way again after so much sadness. She shifted Torren to her other shoulder and drew herself to her full height.

“He does not need a father. He had John, Rodney and Ronon as well as many others in Atlantis that he may look up to.”

“But none of them see him daily. Who will show him how to be a warrior? How to fight the Wraith? Who will teach him of his people?”

“I can do that,” she countered. “And I had hoped you would show him some of the old ways. Torren does not need to become a warrior, his father was not.”

Halling grumbled. He had liked Doctor Beckett and respected him, but that his relationship with Teyla had not been blessed by the Ancestors still made him uneasy. Now there was the child to think of. “Kannan has come to me asking for my blessing to pursue a relationship with you.”

“I hope that you told him no.”

Halling would not look her in the eyes. “Teyla….”

“No, Halling, women have raised their children alone before, why should my raising Torren be any different? I loved Carson; Torren is all that I have left of him. I came to seek your guidance in moving forward, but if you will not even talk with me like an equal then I shall leave.”

“Do not go,” Halling said with a sigh. “I will talk with Kannan. I should not have been so hasty but you are like family to me, Teyla. I will help you. Let us go back, there are many who would want to see your son before you return to the city of the Ancestors.”

“Thank you,” she said, letting him lead the way back to the village.

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Teyla returned to Atlantis with a much lighter heart. Her time with her people had been well spent and she was glad that Torren would know the Athosians if he could not know Carson’s family. Speaking with Halling had answered some questions, but had also brought up more. Teyla needed more time to think, to meditate away from anyone. Torren was not going to allow that. He had fed just before their return and now wanted to be awake and play. Teyla needed to eat as well before she could do anything. She bounced Torren on her hip as she made her way to the mess. He gurgled his glee while she attempted to fill her tray. Torren tried to grab the container of Jell-O and Teyla barely managed to move the tray away from his grasp when she heard a friendly voice behind her.

“Here, let me take the little guy.”

Teyla half turned to see Major Lorne coming around to take Torren from her arms. Her son went willingly to him, his arms open wide and a smile on his face. Of all the people she relied on to look after Torren, Major Lorne seemed to be her son’s favorite after her teammates.  Teyla was unsurprised; the Major was a kind man, loyal and always had a smile or a treat for Torren. She remembered how kind he had been to her on the Wraith ship, sharing memories of his family, showing concern not just for her but for Torren though he was yet to be born.

“Thank you, Major. Though I have almost mastered eating with one hand, today would have been especially challenging.”

“I can see that,” he laughed at Torren ripped off one of the patches from his uniform. “I can take him for a while if you need some time alone. I’ve got nothing going on for a few hours.”

“Would you? I would be in your debt, Major.”

“Evan, please. I spend enough time with Torren I almost feel like I’m family.”

“Thank you, Evan,” she said. What he said hit close to her heart. The Major, Evan, was part of Teyla’s extended family, she considered all who lived in Atlantis to be a part of her family, but there was something…a feeling that tugged at the corners of her mind that he could be closer, like her team. She watched him leave with her son, smiling and talking to him, and knew that Evan Lorne was one of the things she was going to have to meditate on.

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Teyla’s meditation brought more questions than answers. She leaned against the railing on her balcony, staring out at the waters of this new planet they had made their home and sighed. Halling was correct in a way. He did not need a father; he had one, though Carson would never know. His…counterpart did. It was hard to think of the man who wore Carson’s face, who held Carson’s memories as a clone. Teyla had not spent much time with him, the pain of seeing her love’s face to great though he had been gone for more than a year now.

Halling had been incorrect in that Torren needed father, but Teyla found that she missed having a partner, someone to share her life with, someone to love. She had always thought of herself as happy before meeting the people who would occupy Atlantis. She embraced them as friends, finding joy in their company. It had surprised her that she had found love as well. Her time with Carson had been short, but she would not trade it for all the goods in this galaxy. He had given her passion, love and most of all, their son. She mourned him still, though she knew he would want her to be happy, to love again.

So her thoughts turned to Evan Lorne. He had always been her friend. From the moment he had arrived on Atlantis, Teyla had sensed something special about the man who was John’s second in command. Over time she had developed a strong friendship with him. But now, looking back, she could sense something more. When Carson passed, Evan had presented her with a small painting of Carson and herself, a remembrance of happier times. Then another shortly after Torren was born. She had hung the second in her bedroom; the first was put away in the beginning because the memories and sadness were so fresh and now because she did not wish to open old wounds. She looked upon it every now and then, amazed by Evan talent. He did not share it with everyone. Very few of the people of Atlantis possessed paintings Evan had done. She knew he had given at least two to Elizabeth. And Colonel Carter had been given one before she left the city.

Yes, Evan Lorne was a man whose trust and close friendship was not easily given. When it was it needed to be treasured. In her year of mourning she had rediscovered that something special, a spark between them. If her teammates were not around to keep her company, Evan had always seemed to be there. When Teyla had discovered her pregnancy, Evan had quietly offered her support by never making her feel weaker, by seeking out her advice, and ever since the incident on the Wraith ship, keeping her company and telling her stories of his sister and his nephews. And now he was a constant minder for Torren, who adored him.

She went back to her room, to the crib Rodney’s sister Jeannie had sent her. Torren lay there sleeping. Evan had brought him back not ten minutes ago. When passing the sleeping boy, Teyla had once again felt that spark. Looking in Evan’s eyes she thought maybe he had felt it also. She brushed a hand over her son’s face. She was strong, she had lived many years on her own, she knew that she could do so again. But Teyla found she did not. She wanted another in her life. For a brief time there had been Carson. She knew he would want her to move on. She believed in her heart that he would most likely approve of her choosing Evan Lorne. Tomorrow Teyla would see if there was possibly more than a spark between them.

Part two