Fic: All I've Ever Wanted Clint/Darcy FRT (2/3)
Natasha was an enigma. An enigma…well Darcy knew how the saying went. One minute she was tossing down vodkas like no tomorrow, singing with the other women; the next she was a stone cold assassin, teaching Darcy the best ways to incapacitate an attacker. Darcy was pretty sure Natasha liked her, especially since was now allowed to use Natasha’s name rather than call her Agent Romanov. Darcy endeared herself by using the proper Russian nomenclature the day after joining SHIELD and addressing her as Agent Romanova.
It wasn’t until six months in that Natasha made it onto Darcy’s list.
There were incident reports to be filed and signed after another one of Doctor Doom’s failed attempts to take over the world. They were lending assistance to the Fantastic Four, again and Darcy swore that she was going to tase Johnny Storm one of these days. The rest of the team had handed in their reports and Darcy had happily filed them after having a good read and laugh at Doom’s ineptitude. Strangely Natasha’s report was missing. She was usually the first to file.
“Anyone know why I don’t have Natasha’s report? Or where she is right now?” Darcy asked at lunch.
Clint was the first to answer. “She had an….incident with a Doom-bot. She’s not taking it well.”
“Is she okay?”
“Lady Widow is fine, she was able to fend off the robot’s attack in time,” Thor said.
Darcy frowned. Clint took her aside, knowing her penchant for being nosy.
“Her gun jammed. It’s something new the SHIELD techs foisted on her as we were rolling out. She’s pissed off and blowing off some steam. Better that she be allowed time than well….”
“Yeah, I get it,” Darcy said. Natasha file was filled with gory details on what happened when people pissed her off. Fury would not appreciate having to deal with injured agents and Darcy really didn’t want to deal with the associated paperwork.
Darcy tried to get through the rest of the morning without thinking about it, but Maria was pressing her for all of the reports, which meant that someone (meaning Darcy) had to track Natasha down and get the report from her. Darcy sighed to herself, getting in the elevator.
“Yes, Miss Lewis?”
Darcy smiled at the fact the AI didn’t correct her use of a nickname. “Where is Natasha?”
“Agent Romanov is on the fifty-ninth floor. She has asked not to be disturbed.”
“Well, Agent Hill needs me to file her report on the incident this morning. I think that supersedes any need for privacy. Take me there please?”
The elevator began to move smoothly, and Darcy grinned. Having Hill for a boss had its perks sometimes. The cab came to a stop and the doors slid silently open revealing a….dance studio? The floors were a polished wood paneling and there were mirrors on the opposite wall, with what Darcy knew to be a ballet barre. There was classic music blasting from overhead. Darcy almost whistled in appreciation but was distracted by something leaping past her. It was Natasha doing jetés into some serious pirouettes that left Darcy feeling dizzy. Natasha came out of the spin and into a deep plié as the music stopped. Darcy almost applauded but held her hands at her sides, knowing Natasha would have her against the wall, knife to her throat, though who the hell knew where she might be hiding a weapon with what she was wearing.
Natasha lifted her head, breathing hard and seeing Darcy in the mirror. There was a fierce curl to her lip, but she just stood, stretching as she did so.
“I’m guessing that Maria wants my report.”
“If it wouldn’t be too much trouble,” Darcy said nonchalantly.
Natasha walked over to a towel and bottle of water, taking a long drink. “I’ll have it to you in twenty minutes.”
“Thanks. You’re brilliant by the way.”
“I….,” Natasha seemed taken aback by the compliment. She ducked her head and took a deep breath. “It’s what I wanted to do…before….”
“Before becoming what they made you,” Darcy supplied. The things in Natasha’s file on what the mother country had done to her gave Darcy nightmares.
“Da,” Natasha said, slipping into Russian. “It is one of the few things they let me keep. I use it to….to cope.”
“I can see why. I’ll make sure no one disturbs you if you’re here. It’s the least I can do.”
Darcy started to leave when Natasha said something.
“Darcy….,” she looked up, the rigid mask of both the Black Widow and Agent Romanova of SHIELD slipping, “you can call me Tasha.”
“Thank you, for …..”
“I know,” Darcy said, smiling and walking out, Tasha now firmly on her list.
Director Nicholas Fury
Darcy spotted the Post-It note when she came back from lunch. It had an address and a time, but there wasn’t a signature. Not that she needed one to know who it was from; she’d processed enough of his paperwork to recognize Director Fury’s handwriting. She Googled the location, made a note to herself to check if her taser was charged and got back to work.
That afternoon she emerged from the subway, taser now tucked into her pocket, hand gripped around it, ready for anything. She walked down the block briskly and arrived at the address Fury gave her. It was a non-descript building, nothing on the door or wall to indicate what she was going to find inside.
“Okay, Darcy, you can do this,” she told herself.
Gripping her taser harder, her other hand on the panic button Clint had given her disguised as a charm bracelet, Darcy pushed the door open. The bar was only slightly smoky, but the only patron was Fury, sitting at the bar, two shot glasses in front of him.
“Miss Lewis, prompt as always.”
Darcy swore that he had eyes in the back of his head to make up for the one covered by the eye patch. And she did enjoy the many and varied rumors of how he’d gotten said eye patch.
“Director,” she said, relaxing a little and walking over to him. She hopped up onto the barstool and spun to face him. “So…care to tell me why I risked my butt to come over here?”
He waved at the shot, taking his own in hand. She picked hers up, waiting. He lifted it and toasted, “To Phil.”
“To Phil,” she echoed, trying not to get choked up. The liquor burned and she shook her head, trying not to embarrass herself by coughing.
Fury nodded at the bartender who poured him another shot and then Darcy a beer. “Director,” she started, but he leveled a half glare at her.
“Nick. In here, it’s Nick. Breathe a word of anything that happens here….”
Darcy inwardly rolled her eyes and took a sip of beer. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll get MIB flashy-thinged or dead or something.”
Fury…Nick nodded and began to tell her about how he’d met Phil. Darcy nursed her beer while Fury downed the better part of the bottle of scotch without even looking drunk. After a few hours, he waved for the bill, paid and asked if she needed a ride.
“I’m fine thanks.”
He nodded and they parted without another word. The next day he was himself again, but acknowledged her with the barest of nods. Darcy came to anticipate the Post-Its. When he had an infuriating day, there would be one. Darcy would go, they’d toast Phil and Nick would regale her with stories from the early days of SHIELD. She just took it in stride, quietly including him in her mind as one of her charges. Just because he was the Avenger’s boss, didn’t mean he needed a friend too.
Tall, blond and studly returned on a Thursday of course. No, it wasn’t because Jane had fixed the Bifrost either. Not that Darcy’s other boss wasn’t trying. She worked endlessly trying to get her boyfriend back, driving both Bruce and Tony crazy whenever she enlisted their help.
No, Thor came back to Midgard, Earth because of yet another alien attack from one of the Nine Realms. Odin did something that Darcy was never able to decipher into English and sent Thor back, for good. Or until Jane did her science thing, which everyone knew she would.
The days after the defeat, with minimal damage to the five boroughs this time, Thor and Jane had one hell of a reunion. Louder and longer than the previous one because well, Thor didn’t have any way to return. When they did emerge from the bedroom, Tony being Tony, teased them both about damage to his precious tower. Thor would have launched into some kind of ode on his prowess if Darcy hadn’t intervened.
“NO. No, no, no, no, no, Thor please spare us all. I do not need any penis-hammer comparisons. I had plenty of those with Doctor Horrible.”
Thor was puzzled. “Is this Doctor another villain you have dispatched in my absence?”
This led, of course, to the inevitable Joss Whedon marathon.
Later, she would have time to catch up with the big guy when he came to take Jane to lunch. She was busy.
“Why don’t you take me?” Darcy suggested. “Jane’s going to be a while and I need fuel to keep up with her.”
“But does my Jane not also need sustenance to keep working?”
“Nah, she’s got Pop-Tarts in her pocket and I made sure she had a hearty breakfast, she’ll be fine until dinner.”
So Thor took her out, with the paparazzi hot on their heels. Darcy was prepared for the pictures and headlines the next morning. But she didn’t care. After the incident with Steve and Coney Island, she’d learned that anyone hanging with the Avengers was fodder for the press. Sure it meant a phone call home to mom to assure her that no, Darcy was not ruining Captain America and no, Darcy was not having the Hulk’s baby, but that she could deal with.
“How do you fare, Darcy?” he asked once they were seated at the restaurant. “I have heard that you and brother Clinton are romantically entangled.”
“Sort of,” Darcy blushed. “We’ve been out a few times, but not much else. SHIELD keeps him pretty busy.”
“Do I need to ask him his intentions?”
Darcy laughed. “No, but thanks. Tony, Steve and Bruce already did that. And Natasha has my back too.”
“It is good that you have bonded with all of them. “
“I like the job,” Darcy said. Thor looked like he wanted to say more, but the waitress came over. Thor ordered one of everything on the menu. The poor woman looked like she was going to faint. “Uh, Thor, are you sure you can afford that?”
“Do not worry, Darcy. Tony, has supplied with me something called a Black Card.”
Turned out the Stark name got things done and they were served with no problem. Thor’s being worried for her just secured him on her list.
Tony was a thorn in Darcy’s side. From the moment he showed her the room she was staying in, he teased, he leered, and he generally was an ass. If she didn’t know for sure that he was completely and hopelessly in love with Pepper, she would have tased him several dozen times over. Luckily for her, Pepper seemed to have someone do all of Tony’s paperwork, God help the poor sucker.
Darcy also thanked the powers in charge that she was not the liaison between SHIELD and Stark Industries. That would have made her quit within the week.
She had seen an ever rotating roster of contenders, but she thought Pepper had found a good fit more recently. Karen had lasted two weeks so far and showed no signs of leaving. Of course there was JARVIS to help out. The AI would shut anything down in Tony’s workshop if he’d been in there beyond a certain number of hours. Karen was Tony’s Darcy and they’d bonded when he’d come up to help Jane or Bruce or both.
This time, though, Darcy had something Karen couldn’t help with. She’d contacted her about Tony’s whereabouts because there were some classified documents that needed to be signed.
“I think he’s in his workshop, he said something about tinkering with a suit,” she said when Darcy called.
“Not one for Pepper I hope, she’s always trying to discourage him from making her one.”
“I don’t know, Darce. He starts rattling of specs and I tune out.”
“I hear you,” she said grinning. “How long has he been down there?”
There was a pause, which Darcy didn’t like. “He’s hitting hour sixteen.”
“Great. Thanks for the heads up, Kar.”
Darcy picked up the file and got on the elevator which was waiting with open doors when she approached.
“I though it necessary to have the car ready for you, Miss Lewis,” JARVIS said.
“Thanks. Remember the thing we talked about a couple of months ago?”
“I do, I shall be ready if you need me, Miss Lewis.”
“If you had a face I’d kiss you, Jarv.”
“Thank you, Miss Lewis.”
She was pretty sure he’d be blushing, if he had cheeks. Darcy wasn’t sure if JARVIS counted as human, but if he was or ever could be, he would automatically make it onto her list. The doors opened up on one of the lower levels. Darcy could hear the pulsing base of AC/DC as she walked down the hall.
“A little help, Jarv?”
“Certainly, Miss Lewis,” he said and the volume went noticeably down as she approached the door.
“I think you can call me Darcy from now on,” she said with a grin, pushing the door open.
“I will, Miss….Darcy.”
Tony looked back, frowning. “Flirting with my AI again, Lewis? I see you got him to mess with my volume.”
“You wouldn’t know flirting if it hit you in the face, Tony. Besides, I’m very happy with the relationship I do have.”
“Right, right, Barton. Remind me again if I have to have a talk with our young archer.”
Darcy sighed, rolling her eyes. “No, you don’t Tony. You, Steve and Bruce already did that. And Thor volunteered to do it again last week. Thanks for the use of the card by the way.”
He turned and pointed. “Ah ha! It was you. I’d heard the big guy had gone out. Please remind him that I really would appreciate it if he ate a little less on my dime.”
“Like you can’t afford it,” Darcy replied. “Anyway I’m not here for my health.”
“I very much doubted you were, Lewis. So why have you graced me with your bountiful presence?”
“I have some things that need to get signed like ASAP,” she said, holding out the folder.
Tony waved it off, turning back to the workbench. “I don’t like being handed things.”
“Tony, I really don’t have time for you and your little quirks. There really isn’t anywhere for me to set this down. You’ve got every square inch of flat surface that isn’t the floor covered in wires and metal and who knows what.”
“Can’t I sign it later?” he whined, giving her puppy dog eyes. Darcy was immune from puppy dog eyes. Mostly. Steve and Clint used them quite effectively.
“Not if you want approval for the superconductor you’ve been bugging Fury for.”
“They approved it?” His eyes lit up like a kids on Christmas morning.
“And some other things that I’m not sure I’m supposed to know about. So will you just take the folder and sign the things?”
“Nope, I don’t take things.”
Darcy sighed, looking skyward. “JARVIS, implement Lewis plan six-b.”
“What are you up to, Lewis?” Tony asked, frowning.
Darcy didn’t say anything, just stood there looking smug. The rock music stopped abruptly and soon the workshop was filled with the sound of “Barbie Girl”.
“Really, Lewis? Nineties pop music?”
“Wait until you hear the rest. I have an entire playlist. I forget how long it is.”
“If played continuously, it would go for over a week,” JARVIS supplied.
“Jarv likes me,” Darcy said. “He’ll continue to play this until you sign. So what will it be, Stark?” She only ever used his last name when she wanted to bug him.
“Give me the folder,” he sighed.
She grinned and handed him the folder. She pulled a pen out of her pocket, but he already had one in hand as he began scanning the paperwork. He signed and initialed where she’d indicated.
“You can put his music back, Jarv. Thanks for backing me up.”
“You are welcome, Darcy.”
Tony finished with the folder a few minutes later, handing it back to her with a smirk.
“What’s that look for?”
“I like you, Lewis. Remind me never to get into a prank war with you. Or to at least have you on my side.”
“It would be a pleasure to prank with you, Tony.”
She smiled and left the room, adding him to her list. Now she had all the Avengers there. It was a good thing.